My civil partnership has ended and my ex-partner owes my £40,000 - how can I get my money back?

I have recently divorced my civil partner, with him owing me more than £40,000 and wondered what the best way is to go ahead and sue/claim that back.

I have all the payments documented and bank statements showing the payments coming from me. SH via email
 
 Breaking up is hard to do: Amicable resolutions will cost less than legal battle
Linda Mckay of This is Money replies: When things turn sour and couples go their separate ways sometimes the financial headache can catch up.
One may have been thrifty and the other not so good with money. So do you write this relationship and the money troubles off as a bad experience or do you stand a chance of recouping any of the money borrowed by your ex? 
I asked one of our family law experts for advice in your case.

Nigel Shepherd, family partner at national law firm Mills & Reeve, replies: In order to deal with your question I have assumed that you were in a formal civil partnership which has recently been dissolved, but that you have not yet reached any final agreement on the financial consequences. 
The law on dividing up the finances on the dissolution of a civil partnership is exactly the same as it would be when a heterosexual couple divorces. If at all possible, you should try to agree what should happen. You can be helped to do this through mediation, collaborative law or negotiation with the assistance of a specialist family lawyer. 
If you cannot agree, you can ask the court or an arbitrator to make the decision for you. Although you may well be entitled to take separate proceedings to claim back money that is due from your former partner, it will almost always be better to deal with that issue as part and parcel of finalising all other aspects arising from the breakdown of your relationship.

 

This is because in partnership dissolution proceedings – as in divorce – the family court can make a decision that deals with all of the financial issues between you and your partner such as property, any other assets including pensions and any maintenance that may be required.
Unlike with a simple claim to recover a debt, the court has a very wide discretion to adjust the strict legal position to come up with what it feels to be a fair result. It’s possible that you could find yourself getting your money back in one court case only to have the family court giving it back to your partner as part of the overall settlement.
Each case is decided on its own particular facts so I would recommend that you take specialist advice from a family lawyer. I hope you are able to get everything settled quickly. 
Linda Mckay adds: In the light of our legal expert’s comment I am sure that you will find it difficult to trust again financially and should you find yourself with a new partner at some stage in the future will want to consider a legally binding document such as a declaration of trust should there be any personal investment or assets to consider.
You may also want to think about conducting a credit check on yourself through one of the leading credit reference agencies (Experian, Equifax or Callcredit) as you might discover that you are haunted by the bad credit of your ex.
Do this before applying for any new credit cards or a mortgage as if you have any financial links with your former partner this may show up on your own credit rating and affect your ability to gain further borrowing.
Financial links could be a joint account, joint credit card or even a loan in both names. It is not difficult to cut financial ties but more so to regain your hard earned cash.